As we enter the new year, I have found that it's a good time to stop and take stock of who we are and how we act.
In my case, at 78 and in the "winter" of my life, I find more things to laugh about, and the prime target is me. I now can laugh more easily at myself and at things I used to take seriously. Goodness gracious, in years past how easy it was to be offended at what I assumed was a personal slight or assault when it was simply an innocent comment or gesture. It took a while, too long unfortunately, but I finally realized that all that time and effort devoted to being offended was robbing me of valuable life moments, and there is no getting those moments back.
Slowly, I began working on myself, cleaning up my horrible diet, becoming a vegetarian, and "smoothing out" my approach to life. The vegetarian part was easy, but the smoothing out took considerably more time and effort. Raised as I was in Pittsburgh, it became apparent to me at a young age if I were not ready and able to defend myself at the drop of a hat, I would be victimized in one way or another. In response, I took this to the extreme, and at a young age I built up my body with weightlifting and lived at the gym as an amateur boxer. Taking this approach to life encourages bravado and aggression, and in that environment, I was rewarded.
But as an adult trying to have adult relationships, it penalized me severely.
I needed to change and wanted to change, and at one point, I thought I was making good progress until I read the book "The Trusting Heart" by psychiatrist Dr. Redford Williams, published in 1989. It laid out the case for why a hostile personality like mine is a risk for heart disease. In a nutshell, it constantly promotes stress, and stress is an established risk factor for heart disease. I knew I already had many years of horrible artery-clogging eating habits under my belt, and I sure didn't need another risk factor in my life.
The book by Williams opened my eyes and helped me recognize hostility in myself and what to do about it. A major aspect of hostility is taking things personally, and that knowledge hit me square between the eyes. In fact, when I first read the book years ago, I thought this guy had been following me around 24 hours a day and taking notes. For example, I was always in a hurry, and I would become angry if anything got in my way, like the car in front of me going too slow in the fast lane. And I was impatient with what I perceived as incompetence, or laziness, and I'd personalize that it was costing me in some way. These weren't conscious thoughts, of course, and I wasn't aware that I was doing it.
Thankfully, my newfound awareness about hostility and taking things too personally inspired a profound change. I realized that although I still had gut reactions to certain situations, I had a choice. I could either allow myself to be frustrated, get angry, and express it, or simply recognize the feelings and decide not to act out the way I always had. The impact was remarkable. I became a much happier person, and much easier to get along with. And, just as important, I'm sure my heart health took a big step forward.
Norman Cousins was an accomplished man, a journalist and bestselling author, and also a scientist who studied the biochemistry of human emotions. As he battled a combination of horrific health problems including a crippling connective tissue disease called ankylosing spondylitis that contributed to a deteriorating spine, he took matters into his own hands. He left the hospital and developed a unique health care strategy that included mega-doses of vitamin C, a positive attitude, and lots of laughter.
Intellectually, Cousins knew laughter was good for the body, producing endorphins, chemicals produced in the brain that act on the same receptors as morphine to mask pain. In addition, his daily regimen of laughter strengthened his immune system, boosted his energy and reduced the stress imposed by disease. All of these effects have since been studied scientifically and shown to be valid.
But ironically, because he was a serious man, laughing didn't come easily or naturally to him, and he had to learn how to laugh more. In his book "Anatomy of an Illness" published in 1979, Cousins tells how he used Marx Brothers films and "Candid Camera" episodes as a stimulus to promote more laughter. And it worked! He lived to age 75, many years longer than the doctors had given him.
Laughing also helps us connect with others, creating a bond that enhances feelings of happiness and intimacy. That's big stuff, especially during the holidays, making it easier for us to cope with the chaos that is sure to arise in one form or another. And carrying through into the coming year, I urge you to find ways to laugh more and laugh big. It's fun, and good for your health.
Have yourself a very Happy New Year!
Reach Bryant Stamford, a professor of kinesiology and integrative physiology at Hanover College, at [email protected].