I see Flag Day was moved this year. It should have been on June 14th (but you knew that), yet arrived a bit late on December 30th as the Miami Dolphins and the Cleveland Browns combined for 67 accepted penalties for 814 yards and Mike McDaniel even tossed two challenge flags in the mix just for a splash of color.
At least the Fins won, because this one brought the pain.
The Browns came into the game 3-12 and they earned every bit of it. Jerry Jeudy has been the only bright spot in their offense and Myles Garrett anchored their defense while the rest of the team does everything pretty poorly. And this is coming from a Dolphins fan so, ya know, it means something.
Meanwhile, Miami headed into the contest with a veritable amber-lamps full of injuries, headlined by the last minute exit of Tua Tagovailoa in favor of Tyler Huntley at quarterback.
Let's examine a list of the disappeared Dolphins versus their stand-ins:
Tyrel Dodson for Anthony Walker - Dodson had 15 tackles, 1 PBU, and a QB hit against Cleveland. He's had both flashes of greatness and flashes of being like every other Fins linebacker since Zach Thomas so far this season. I like him. He's not a Micah Parsons clone, but he's definitely better depth than Miami's linebacking corps is used to. And I'd take him over Walker as is.
Storm Duck for Kendall Fuller - Quackers doesn't appear to have the same missed tackle bug as a lot of the Dolphin defenders (though I could be acting like them myself and missing his missed tackles, causing an infinite loop of incompetence that will cause the planet to fold in on itself). He's a rookie replacing a (historically) top tier corner and he fills in well for being so new. Plus, his name rules.
Patrick Paul for Terron Armstead - Paul has played decently in his debut efforts this year, filling in for the oft-injured Armstead who is at the tail end of his career. Sunday he got got by Myles Garrett a bunch, but when Garrett isn't trying to commit first degree murder with a helmet, he's an elite rusher, so, grains of salt and all that. He could be a future building block, as long as he keeps developing and stays in one spot.
Malik Washington for Jaylen Waddle - The rookie wide receiver caught 4 passes for 41 yards and looked capable (as he has in previous games). He may not have the high-first-round skillset of Waddle, but when Waddle takes Hill's spot, it seems plausible that Washington will take Waddle's.
The big kahuna: Tyler Huntley for Tua Tagovailoa - Huntley played like a backup should. He went 22/26 (85%) for 225 yds, 1 TD, 0 INTs, and added 52 yards on 7 carries to be the offense's leading rusher. If he can do that every time he's called upon, I'd sign him as long as he'd stay.
What was I saying? Oh yeah; dogs. When you look at how the Dolphins fared with their backups in critical roles, maybe it's more like a three-legged dog who got a sweet robot leg to replace the missing one, but the control panel shorts out somtimes and it kicks anything that walks behind it like a horse.
And the Browns are more like a soggy bowl of kibbles.
A big part of Sunday's success was MM's offensive game plan suiting Tyler Huntley's skillset much better than previous outings.
It's hard to say if it was a product of Huntley having been in the existing system much longer than before or a better-late-than-never acceptance by McDaniel that the plan should be tailored to the talent. Either way, it had better balance (26 passes to 27 rushes) and clearly better results.
Not to worry; there was still some failure floating around. The failing-est was the offensive line, the members of which made a grand return to the glory days of Dolphins' lines that were comprised of wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men in jerseys. I suspect a mix of injuries, a good opposing pass rush, and Huntley's style of escapability vs. Tua's insta-release all added up to cause the catastrophe, but boy did that bring the memories flooding back fast.
Despite the improved game plan, Dearest Michael's penchant for poor playcalling popped up again in a critical spot. On 4th and inches, he opted to pitch the ball backwards, immediately making it a 4th and 4 before the plan got off the ground. You know what they say: when life gives you lemons, call something stupid.
Even the announcers got in on the fun, calling out McDaniel for saying that he likes Jeff Wilson in short yardage situations and then not using him in any.
I really hope he relinquishes the playcalling part of his job next year. And keeps Anthony Weaver around, because:
As previously disclosed, the Browns aren't exactly an offensive powerhouse. Nonetheless, the Dolphins' D held them to 278 total yards and 3 points. Bully for them.
That's what you want to see from a defense in position to dominate. Despite the injuries, they played well again. Weaver has done a lot with some limitations this year. If Chubb and Phillips come back with anything like their pre-injury abilities next season, they could be cooking with gas. Weaver deserves credit, as does his defense.
Speaking of deserving:
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THEY JUST WON A CLUTCH GAME WITH BACKUPS! THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY TO THE BIG ONE!!! IF YOU DON'T TAKE THAT BACK, I'LL DRIVE THIS BUS STRAIGHT OFF THE EDGE OF THE EARTH!" -- You, in response to this heading, if you're insane.
The Dolphins had their playoff path laid out ahead of them against Houston and came up empty. That was their real opportunity to build confidence and momentum heading into the postseason.
Yet, we all know how Miami can still make the playoffs: beat the hapless Jets and hope that the Chiefs' backups can defeat the Broncos.
The Jets are bad. A Tua-led team can crush them. A Tyler-led team can also potentially crush them.
But, will they?
Against the Browns, the team surrounding Huntley made his job infinitely harder with constant penalties, mistakes, miscommunications, and missed assignments. They won in spite of themselves. I believe the analysts' statement was "The Dolphins can't get out of their own way," which I instantly trademarked and am selling on every available type of merchandise.
Facing any of the NFL's not-worst teams with that level of performance will almost certainly result in a loss. Derailing momentum every drive with errors and letting teams hang around is an almost certain recipe for failure if the opponent isn't a bottom dweller. If the other team rolls in with anything at all and the Dolphins come out with that kind of performance, they don't stand a chance.
Fortunately, the Jets are rolling in with nothing.
Aaron Rodgers was benched at the end of Sunday's game against the Buffalo Bills, which honestly might be worse for Miami since his backup is Tyrod Taylor and that dude loves taking out his frustrations on the Fins.
The Jets are 4-12. And yes; Any Given Sunday or whatever other terrible platitude you prefer, but if the Dolphins think they have any real business in the playoffs, they should smother the Jets, then cross their fingers that the Chiefs care enough to show up on the other end.
Only then can we all see if they've got a lil' bit of that Eli Magic in that old silk hat they found.