The backpacks are packed, the alarm clocks are back on, and the group chats are buzzing about class schedules and lunchbox ideas. On the surface, it looks like your kid is going back to school. But quietly, so are you.
For many parents, the start of the school year triggers emotional whiplash. You go from summer's loose rhythms to the tight choreography of morning routines, homework battles, bus schedules, and the looming question behind it all: Is my kid okay?
Turns out, you're not the only one asking. Vivian Chung Easton, a mental health clinician at Blueprint, a therapist-enablement technology platform takes a closer look into ways to manage back-to-school worry and anxiety.
A 2023 Pew Research Center poll found that 40% of parents are "extremely" or "very" worried about their children struggling with anxiety or depression. That number is not surprising if you've spent any time watching your kid try to make friends, handle school stress, or navigate a world that feels increasingly volatile.
Since the COVID-19 pandemic began, around half of parents say they've noticed a new or worsening mental health issue in their teen, according to a 2021 poll published in Mental Health Weekly. This isn't just a seasonal wobble -- it's an ongoing concern that spikes when school resumes and routines change. That shift from summer to fall looks like backpacks and pencil cases. But for many families, it also brings sleep disruption, short tempers, and a low level of stress that buzzes under every school-night dinner.
What parents are worried about goes far beyond grades, notably including:
The tricky part is that many parents say they don't feel equipped to tell the difference between everyday stress and a warning sign. The 2024 U.S. Surgeon General's advisory on the Mental Health and Well-being of Parents found that 58% of parents feel unprepared to support their child's mental health needs. The support isn't always there from schools or pediatricians. And when a kid shrugs off every question with "fine," it can be hard to know where to start.
Wanting your child to be okay is normal. But there's a difference between concern and catastrophizing, and the latter can create more problems than it prevents. An article published by the therapy practice of Self Space Seattle indicated that children of highly anxious parents are significantly more likely to develop anxiety disorders themselves. Not because of genes alone, but because they're watching how you react to things in everyday life. When your anxiety tells you to protect, you might jump in to smooth every path - avoid conflict, rescue them from hard emotions, or micromanage their social life. It's understandable, but it's also counterproductive.
A study in the "Journal of the American Academy for Adolescent Psychiatry" found that parental accommodation (modifying life to help a child avoid stressors) reduces resilience and can actually reinforce anxiety.
Here's the central tension: You want to help, but your help has to include letting your child feel discomfort sometimes. That's how they learn to handle it.
You don't have to be a therapist, but you do need to stay in the game. Mental health clinician Vivian Chung Easton shared a few helpful things that are helpful here:
That said, it's important to not assume that "support" means something dramatic. Sometimes it's just playing video games with them, and then pivoting to asking how everything is. Sometimes it's just some 1:1 time with your kids if you have multiple children. Seek connection first -- really take the time to communicate and talk, even if they don't want to talk, do something that they want to do and go from there.
Let's be clear: This anxiety isn't coming from nowhere.
We're living through a time when kids are growing up faster, facing more pressure, and getting less support. You're also likely juggling work, caregiving, financial stress, and trying to parent through systems -- schools, healthcare, even online platforms -- that can often fall short. So worrying, in that context, makes sense. But it can't be the only thing you do. Chronic worry without action burns out your energy and doesn't help your kid either. Try this instead:
Parenting in this era is hard. And back-to-school season often brings that into sharper focus. But it also gives you a chance to reset: to create structure, have new conversations, and take steps (small ones count) that support both your kid's emotional well-being and your own.
You don't need to be fearless. You just need to stay present, stay curious, and act when something doesn't feel right. That's how you show your kid what it looks like to care without losing yourself in fear.