'Good manners are free. Everyone should have them."
That was once told to us by the late, great Lemmy Kilmister, immortal Motorhead frontman and fount of all that is awesome.
Now, if a dude who treated various illicit substances and whiskey like food groups can be polite, shouldn't we all?
This goes double at shows, where everyone is there to have a good time.
Yet, if live music is your thing, you know firsthand that some of us need to brush up on our concert-going
etiquette.
Let's review a few important do's and don'ts when heading out to a gig:
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Like all those vague "service fees" jacking up your ticket price upon checkout, cellphones are always going to be part of the show-going experience, like it or not.
That said, there's still some common courtesy to be deployed when brandishing your iPhone in the company of a few thousand strangers.
For starters, if you're going to grab footage of the show, hold your phone in your eye line. Don't wield the thing above your head so that the people behind you can't see the show they paid to see.
The goal should be to capture a few minutes of a few songs so that you can fondly reflect on that time you saw Jackyl at the state fair before making some questionable culinary choices and climbing aboard the Tilt-a-Whirl.
Now, that's the stuff that memories are made of.
Take a stand! Or don't!
We've seen plenty of arguments break out over the years when some fans stand while others in the rows behind them choose to sit.
Most concerts are designed to be celebratory, high-energy affairs -- get up and move, it's part of the fun.
And if that's not your thing, cool, enjoy the show in your own way or stay home and watch music clips on YouTube -- the view from your couch will never be obstructed.
Of course, quieter, more low-key gigs are an exception -- we're not suggesting you stage dive at Josh Groban's next show.
Wait -- Yes. Yes, we are.
If only you came with a mute button ...
As much as we'd like to, we can't really complain about someone next to us singing along at the top of their lungs during a show.
But talking? During a concert?!
It's the absolute worst, like right up there with hearing Mick Jagger say, "And now here's a new song."
And of course, the cluelessly rude offending parties always engage in said chatter loudly, because it's really hard to be heard over the concert that everyone else is trying to hear, right?
Now, unless you're the beer guy hawking overpriced tallboys in the stands, no one else should be flapping their gums while the band's onstage.
To be fair, there is one -- and only one! -- exception, a single phrase that you're allowed to utter during a show: "Hey, want another overpriced tallboy?"
Mosh where appropriate, m'kay?
Next to maybe a pulled groin or reruns of "Everybody Loves Raymond," perhaps the most annoying thing in the history of really annoying things is the overexcited dude who has to push and shove people en route to the pit at punk, metal and now even some hip-hop shows.
While we can appreciate your enthusiasm, please abstain from moshing on your way to the mosh pit -- save it for when you're in the presence of those who are actually prepared to hit you back, tough guy.
On the flip side -- and just as obnoxious -- don't be the thin-skinned type who gets up front at a gig with said mosh pits and then has a meltdown when the action gets going.
Instead, maybe just stand in the back of the room with the rest of us and enjoy the show. Bonus: You won't spill a drop of your $23 Bud Light.
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