Therapy is not one-size-fits-all, and finding the right therapist can make all the difference in your mental health journey. A therapist with a style, experience, and personality that matches your needs will ensure that you feel comfortable, safe, and trusting. But with so many experts out there, how do you find the one who "gets" you? Here's a simple, practical guide to help.
Think About Your Goals
Generally speaking, therapy is a tool to better understand your emotions and learn valuable coping strategies. However, each person will have a unique desired goal for seeing a therapist.
Start by asking yourself, "Why do I want therapy?" Are you seeking help for anxiety, trauma, relationship issues, or just feeling stuck? Do you want practical solutions, or are you looking for deeper understanding? Clarifying your goals can help you shortlist professionals who specialize in those specific areas.
Also, you may think about your preferences. Would you feel more comfortable with a therapist of a certain gender, background, or age range? Do you need someone who understands your cultural identity, sexual orientation, or faith tradition? Make a simple list -- and don't feel like you are being "too picky." This is about your wellbeing and personal journey, your therapist should just provide guidance and empower you.
Find Qualified, Licensed Professionals
Once you know what you want, it is important to check credentials. Therapists can specialize in many areas and be psychologists, counselors, social workers, or marriage and family therapists.
They should be licensed in your state and have training that matches your needs. A quick search on psychology directories can give you a list of local licensed experts. You could also check your insurance provider's website to understand in what network a therapist operates and whether their services are covered by your insurance plan.
Don't hesitate to look for additional certifications if you are after a specific approach, like trauma therapy (e.g., EMDR), cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), or mindfulness-based therapy.
Check for Compatibility and Comfort
Therapy works best when you feel safe and understood. Once you have a list of possible candidates, reach out and ask for a short introductory call -- many therapists offer these consultations for free. Ideally, you will use this time to explain why you're seeking help and ask any questions you have.
Here are some useful things to ask or notice:
Pay attention to how you feel during the call. Did you feel heard, respected, and comfortable? At this stage, it is important to trust your instincts!
Look for Inclusive and Holistic Practices
Many people want therapists who are inclusive and support all identities -- and, in turn, good therapists should make it clear they welcome diversity in all forms. A great way to gauge their values and approaches is to look for words like "LGBTQ+ affirming," "multicultural," or "trauma-informed" in their profiles. You should also read reviews if available, but remember privacy means there may be few or none.
Additionally, some therapists offer holistic care, combining modern therapies with complementary approaches. For example, they may use science-backed tools like mindfulness, yoga, or creative arts. If that appeals to you, ask about their approach -- a comprehensive approach can support you in your daily life, beyond the sessions with your therapist.
Exploring Digital Therapy and Telemedicine
Telemedicine helps you connect with a qualified therapist without needing to travel, which is ideal if you live far from urban centers, have mobility issues, or a packed schedule. This flexibility can be a game-changer if you are after more affordable or accessible mental health support. It also offers more privacy -- if you don't want to be seen entering a counselor's office, you can talk from the privacy of your own home.
Online directories often let you filter by specialty, approach, language, race, cultural background, and more. Some online tools even include introductory videos so you can "meet" your therapist before scheduling a session as well as the possibility of texting your therapist when you need their help. Remember, therapy regulations require telehealth providers to be licensed in your state, so always check they have the right credentials!
Give Yourself Time -- And Permission to Switch
Once you start with a therapist, give it a few sessions before deciding if they're the right match. Feeling nervous at first is normal, but you should start to feel a sense of trust, safety, and being understood within a few meetings.
Remember, if your chosen therapist turns out not to be the right fit for you, it is okay to find another specialist. A good professional will respect your decision. Your mental health journey is too important to settle for anything less than someone who truly sees and supports you.
The Takeaway
Choosing a therapist is a personal, sometimes confusing process, but it's also empowering. Know what you want, trust your feelings, and don't be afraid to use digital tools to find a better fit. With patience and the right questions at hand, you can find a therapist who truly understands you.